Who are you?

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Last night I was talking to a friend who is reading my book.  She told me it’s been a little bizarre reading because she knows me…or thought she did.  “You write sword fights!  And describe people being wounded as if you know how it feels!” she said.  “How do you figure all that out?”  I explained that having a cooperative husband who’ll block fight scenes with me helps, but she shook her head.  “No, it’s just that I realize you’re not quite who I thought you were.”  This friend only knows me from dance, where I am joyful and energetic.  So of course it might be a bit daunting to recognize that I might have a darker side, one that knows how injuries feel, how enticing vengeance can be and what betrayal looks like.   I’ve run into the same thing with coworkers, who read the book and suddenly look at me as if they’re trying to find the no-nonsense, efficient librarian whose body I’ve obviously taken over.

It’s still me.  I’m still cheerful in the morning, madly in love with my husband and determined to find the magic I believe is out there.  I’m a good daughter, a loving mother, a faithful friend.  I experience deep anger and irrational jealousy.  I laugh easily.   I’m afraid of heavy winds but I love a good thunderstorm.  I write so I can travel to places that exist nowhere but my imagination and I dance in order to free my body and  connect to the numinous, that something ‘other’ that makes the ordinary into the extraordinary.  So I wrote something that startled you, something that a nice lady like me shouldn’t know about?  Better just take a deep breath and keep reading.  ‘Cause this is what I do.

This is who I am.

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3 comments to Who are you?

  • I remember when my brother, who knows me better than anyone else in the world except my wife, read my first book, which begins with a double homicide and goes “downhill” from there. He joked that he was worried about me, but there was some truth behind the humor. He felt as though he’d discovered a side of me he hadn’t known about and wasn’t so pleased to have found.

    Thing is, writing is my outlet for those feelings and thoughts. What scares me is that I think everyone has that side to them, but most people keep it bottled up inside. Yikes!

  • The few days after THE QUEEN’S BASTARD was released were pretty funny for me. Every time a friend I hadn’t yet talked to saw me, they’d say, “O.O” or “Oh my” or “*Goodness*,” because gosh, that book is full of sex. I could certainly tell who was reading the book. :)

    -Catie