Somehow, the vast majority of the people with whom I work did not know that I had written and sold a novel. I don’t really know how they missed it, since I wasn’t what you’d call reticent about the subject. 😀 My book comes out next week, and I have signings scheduled, so my husband insisted I make flyers for him to hand out at his work, and for me to hand out to all the teachers and staff here. Which I did yesterday (I used my red sealing wax and my skull & crossbones seal to make them a little extra piratey!) Ever since, I’ve been dealing with thrilled people coming by to congratulate me. This is wonderful, of course. Happy people being happy for me are always an upper. But inevitably, the question comes – “Aren’t you excited?”
Depends on how you define “excited”, I guess. My hands are constantly shaking, I’m not especially interested in food lately, and if I think about it too much I’m afraid I might throw up and run home and hide under my pillow until Christmas.
When this event was over a year away, I talked about it all the time, planned for it, wondered what I’d wear to a signing, dreamed about the call from my publisher telling me I was on the bestseller lists… all that stuff one thinks about. As time went by, I busied myself writing, answering emails, making copy edits and verifying quotes for the proof editors, so the level of excitement remained fairly constant. But as the number of days until release counted down to single digits, my excitement changed to mild panic.
It’ll be all right, of course. Once I’m behind the table, I’ll smile and chat with people and sign books. Until then, I’m keeping a firm grip on the ground with my feet, and taking lots of deep, calming breaths. I have a massage scheduled soon (Diane, take me away!) I’m pretty sure I can avoid throwing up in front of anyone, since I’ve nearly quit eating. But right this minute I’d prefer to be in my closet in the dark, not answering the phone.
Does that count as excited?