ANOTHER Top Ten … or Two

Faith HunterFaith Hunter
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Top Ten Reasons to be Writer

  1.  The little voices in your head keep you awake every night unless you let them out to play.
  2. You wake up every night with new ideas and rush to the bathroom (where you turn on the nightlight, sit on the toilet and write until the idea is safe for daylight and won’t be lost in dreams. Because that happens all the time, gosh-darn it.)
  3. You love the stories in your head as much as (more than?) you love chocolate.
  4. You are a masochist. You have a great desire to be sliced with sharp objects, like rejection letters. Them paper cuts hurt.
  5. You have thick skin, like an elephant, or are willing to grow one. (see number 4 above)
  6. Writing a good scene feels better than ___________ (you fill in the blank).
  7. You give up time with friends/family/pets to write, and count it as time well spent.
  8. You know that showing your novel to someone the first time will feel like jumping off a cliff. And you still want to do it.
  9. Your characters are more real to you than anyone else you know.
  10. You know that writing is a job, just like any other job, and that you have to work at it, and will probably get kicked in the teeth over and over, and may never make a fortune or even a good living, and yet you are willing to sit down and write every day anyway.

 Top Ten Reasons Not to be a Writer

  1. The little voices in your head are real voices and not even the tinfoil rabbit ears you have mounted on your hat make them stop.
  2. Sitting at the desk and turning on the PC (or whatever way you write) makes you so sick to your stomach that you invested in Pepto-Bismol.
  3. You have decided to write a book to get rich. (rolls eyes)
  4. You have decided to write a book because you think it’s easier than getting a real job.
  5. You believe you are the best writer in the world and have written the next Harry Potter or Great American Novel or Fifty Shades of Gray, and will hear no words of suggested changes.
  6. You know just who should play your characters in the movie, and have started a letter-writing campaign to get them on board. Before you start the novel.
  7. You bought a cravat and cane and have grown a Fu Manchu (if you are a guy or woman who has the necessary facial hair) or you have bought the red-carpet-worthy shoes and dress, which you admire in the mirror, imagining what you will say in the acceptance speech for your first award. And you still haven’t started the novel.
  8. You will get started on your novel as soon as the kids start pre-school, or you get a better job that lets you work less hours, or you get the car paid off so you can work less, or  ______  (you fill in the blank).
  9. The skeletons in your closet are real, and you put them there, hanging them with sliver wire.
  10. Okay – your turn. Why should someone not become a writer?

Faith

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19 comments to ANOTHER Top Ten … or Two

  • You mean #1 and #9 are Bad Things? But these foil rabbit ears look so good with my silver lame’ red-carpet-worthy shoes and dress!!! :-)

    You should be a writer if … you have panic attacks when you don’t have something to write with/on.

    You should NOT be a writer if … you think you go it alone.

  • You should be a writer if:
    Someone asks you something and your first response is “let me write it out for you”. Basically if your preferred means of communication is writing – not phone, not video, not even gossiping over a spot of excellent tea. When you really want to say something, you write it out.

    You Should NOT be a writer if:
    you don’t read.

  • Well shucks, I was going to tell a story about #5, except that it’s about someone I work with and even though I’m 90% sure he doesn’t visit here, I have to bow to that small chance. So there’s a good story about #5, and I’ll tell it someday. In the bar at the next con!

  • LOL Good replies! And Misty, no fair… I hafta *wait*??? I have no patience!

  • sagablessed

    1,2,8, and 9. So me. Seven except for the pets part.
    Don’t knock the cravat. (not that I would ever have one. So last season, I mean really! LOL)
    Misty, if you are going to CC, I would like to hear it as well. But I have *some* patience. ;)
    Did I mention #1? Cause yeah…notebooks when not at computer, scraps of tissue with ideas or revisions scribbled all over…I am hopeless.

  • Nathan Elberg

    Top Ten Reasons to be Writer
    1) You have something relevant to say, and have the talent (and patience) to say it.
    Top Ten Reasons NOT to be Writer
    1) You think you have something relevant to say, think you have the talent (and patience) to say it, but don’t.

  • Faith, I’ll tell you when I come over before DragonCon. :)

  • NewGuyDave

    ha ha. Great lists, Faith. I love the stories in my head as much as chocolate, depending on the draft.

    Reason For: You want to put people through emotional and physical torment to see how they would react, and doing it to characters is the only way to avoid jail time.

    Reason Against: You are so intent on building your platform that you spend all your writing time on social media, blogging, tweeting, and updating statuses about the things you should be writing. (Get a job as a social media person or PR).

    NGD

  • Ken

    Reason to be a Writer # 11: The world in your head is more interesting than the real one.

    Reason not to be a Writer #11: You believe that if you had a few weeks to spare, you could crank a book out NO PROBLEM.

  • Great lists, Faith! :)

    Reason for: If you’ve fallen so much in love with the worlds in your head that you *have* to document them so that others can know how awesome they are, too.

    Reason against: If you’re doing this for any reason dependent entirely on other people (to achieve their love, money, interest, attraction, good opinion, social capital, etc).

  • Hepseba ALHH

    I’m completely with Laura on Reason For!

    Also, sillier:
    Reason For: You get fidgety and unhappy when you don’t have time to proofread an email (any email) before you send it out.

    Reason Against: The only way you can make yourself send email sometimes is to type quickly and hit send with your eyes closed.

  • quillet

    Everyone’s come up with such great lists. Here’s my two cents:

    Reason to: You’re addicted to stories and can’t get enough of them in any medium.
    Reason not: You think spelling, grammar and punctuation are minor technicalities that should be looked after by lesser mortals, not you.

  • You should be a writer if you don’t think talking to someone dressed in fur and carrying a humongous sword is weird. Especially if, after the conversation, you can’t remember if it was a real person or someone you’ve created. Even more so if you don’t care.

  • Razziecat

    You should be a writer because….you already do it, constantly, and the only thing you can’t imagine is not doing it. The very idea is too horrible to imagine.

    You shouldn’t be a writer if you don’t passionately love writing, and reading, and living with those voices in your head.

  • This one is definitely one for me! “2.You wake up every night with new ideas and rush to the bathroom (where you turn on the nightlight, sit on the toilet and write until the idea is safe for daylight and won’t be lost in dreams. Because that happens all the time, gosh-darn it.)”

    And the why not to be a writer corollary: You need your sleep

  • TwilightHero

    You should be a writer if –

    You get a rush from playing with words, from molding the chaos in your head into an order others can understand, that you can find nowhere else.

    You should not be a writer if –

    You think everything that comes out of your head is brilliant.

    Also, I’ve got Faith’s no.3, and Ken’s no. 11. That’s it exactly. This was fun :)