Why We Don’t Call Writers for Tech Support


Recently the harddrive on my main computer died. I reached out to my fellow Magical Words writers and the conversation that ensued went like this (BTW, this isn’t made up; these are portions of the actual emails exchanged (reproduced, with (of course) the various author’s permission):

Yesterday my main computer went ka-blooey (that’s a technical term).


…As for the ka-bluey, try connecting the hyperdrive with 478E Verton cable to the X9000 Rumpelstiltskin matrix. Or, thump it.


Yeah, my hyperdrive has a 477D cable, not the newer 478E. Maybe that’s the problem…


What’s wrong with you people – you’re still using cables for your hyperdrive?  You need to head to Best Buy and get a wireless Improbability adapter.  Works every time.  Well, almost every time.  Well, at least half of the time…when it doesn’t turn your computer into a bowl of petunias.


I just keep some amethyst and citrine crystals on my monitor. And some petrified wood.

And this little thingy from  the TV show Farscape. Or Firefly. Or something.

And a pink sculpy elephant with a red ribbon around his neck.

And a farting dog.

MY PC loves bling.

But I think it’s the farting dog that keeps the PC working.


At one point I thought I finally got things working, but then I got this error message:

So I took the hint and went to Florida for the holidays.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!


10 comments to Why We Don’t Call Writers for Tech Support

  • Brilliant!

    Merry Christmas!

  • Tom G

    First of all, I did tech support for 9 years, and I was reasonably helpful more than half the time. So there. ;p

    Second of all (all of what exactly?), that “the page cannot be displayed…” message was hill-air-e-ous (yeah, I still spell fon-net-ically). I’m gonna steal it and share it with a small portion of the world.

    Merry Christmas, y’all!

  • It’s not supposed to be funny. It’s freaking magic. Computer magic. I really *do* have a farting dog. On my monitor. It’s gray and has blue eyes. The farting dog, not the monitor. Tho the monitor is gray too. And the farting dog is magic. Really. So there.

  • So, the moral of the story is…. you can call on writers for tech support .. and get a farting dog just to cover all bases!

  • Baahahaha. Did you craft that image? Enjoy the sun!

  • Unicorn

    Does a very old snow globe with a unicorn in it have the same function as the farting dog? Probably not. Anyway, brilliant post, Edmund… especially This Page Cannot Be Displayed Because You Need Some Fresh Air.

  • Merry day after Christmas from quasi-sunny Florida. I hope everyone is having a blast! (I know I am.) And if Christmas isn’t your holiday of choice, happy (insert your holiday here. (Don’t want to leave anyone out!)) See you next year.

  • Well, it’s after Christmas, but Yule’s still going, so merry day after Christmas and a happy Yule!

  • Good times here on MW. Happy holidays to all.

  • I’m with Faith on the efficacy of the farting dog – except mine’s black with brown eyes… and the farts are real (as is the dog).
    I also recommend leaving chocolate nearby as an offering to the Wizard Within. Since moving the candy dish closer to the computer, I haven’t seen any more smoke rising from the monitor.